Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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