I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
