but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
