I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
