I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I touched a dick in church today
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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