So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
