she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize