I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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