omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
