I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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