I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
