I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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