she was so not down for the gang bang
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
