Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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