At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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