Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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