im drinking this country out of the recession.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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