both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
