bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
