how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I wish I only lived at night.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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