All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
accomplished twins. life is a go
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
