why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
