PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize
