OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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