We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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