About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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