Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
