Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
