i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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