return my video game
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize