She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
