Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
