I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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