my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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