what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
