Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
