I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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