do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
