She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
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