Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Did I show you my penis last night?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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