We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
