well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
