You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
We don't watch enough power rangers
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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