pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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