I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
