Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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