If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
