Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
