my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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