woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
