Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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