I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
