Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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