At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
