weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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