Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
