i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
the raccoons are back...
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