it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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